Deranged
by LoveGurl5231
Summary: in this fan fic Clare is in a mental institution what happens when she meets a certain green eyed patient?  NOT GOOD AT SUMMARIES
1. Thoughts of an anxiety ridden freak

Chapter 1: thoughts of an anxiety ridden freak

Clare's point of view:

I never meant for this to happen. But I reached my breaking point. I was just fed up with their shit. My dad and step mom's comments and beatings. I swear they were merciless. I had just had it. They deserved what came to them. Especially that it was from me. I really never meant for any of this to happen but I guess my anxiety disorder took over. I know what you're thinking. 'What is she talking about?' right? Well what I'm talking about is that I murdered both my dad and step-mother. They deserved this though always abusing me verbally and physically. That's when I just snapped. I slit my father's throat while I watched the blood drain from him while Sarah slept next to him. I watched enough Dexter to know how to kill without being noticed. I then moved onto my step-mom. I stabbed her forty times while I stabbed my dad forty one. It's just like that old rhyme about Lizzie Borden. The rhyme goes like this "Lizzie Borden had an ax. She gave her mother fourty whacks. When she saw what she had done she gave her dad forty one."

These were the thoughts I was thinking when I was handcuffed sitting in a police car on my way to a mental health clinic. I could tell that the people driving thought I was crazy and deranged. Which I was. I murdered my parents due to their abuse and my anxiety disorder. How was this place supposed to "cure" me? I don't know how. By keeping in a straight jacket and eliminating all color I see in my world and making it gray. How was that supposed to help? I killed my parents for may reasons. One of them being that I wanted to be in control for once not them. The car stopped and the people ushered me into the Mental Health establishment. They directed me to a room that didn't that have people with anxiety but with skitzophrenia. Those people claim that they 'hear voices' telling them to do 'bad' things. The guards opened the doors and put me in the room. everybody's attention was on me and I felt like I was going to have another episode. I walked to a table and sat down next to a boy who was sitting alone. He had really green eyes, a pale face, and shaggy brown hair. I decided to speak first.

"Hi, I'm Clare" I said. He looked into my eyes and I felt as if he knew why I was there.

"Hey I'm Eli."

"I don't mean to pry but why are you here?" he asked softly.

"I murdered my dad and step mom due to my anxiety disorder." I replied. his eyes widened as if he was here for a similar situation.

"Why are you here?" I asked shyly.

"I'm schizophrenic so I kind of went on a rampage because of the voices." So he has Schizophrenia does he?

"How did you kill them?" he asked.

"I stabbed my father forty one times and my step mom forty times." I said.

"Have you ever heard that old rhyme about Liz Borden?" he nodded.

"Well Liz Borden had an ax gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done she gave her father forty one. And that's exactly what I did." He smirked and nodded at me.

"Interesting" he said.

**Not my best work but I plan on making this good. Review please.**


	2. Eli's story

Chapter 2: Eli's story

Eli's point of view:

Hello, my name is Eli Goldsworthy. I'm going to tell you my story. I have Schizophrenia. That means that I hear 'voices'. I am in a mental health hospital because of some wild things that I did because of my condition. I rarely have hallucinations. I mostly hear voices telling me me what other people think of me. Most of them are saying things like, 'they're lying' , 'they are pretending to like you', and 'they actually hate you.' There was only one person who could make the voices go away. Her name was Julia. Julia is someone who I really opened up to. She was the love of my life. KEY WORD: was. She was beautiful. Another key word: was. She had jet black locks and big brown eyes. She also had full lips and cute little dimples. That face that I once thought was beautiful was now disgusting. But how I loved her so. I thought she liked me too but in return she played with my heart and smashed it with a hammer. I remember the day like it was yesterday.

_*Flash back* _

_I rode up the drive way to her house and parked. I stepped out of the car and walked up to the door. I knocked and he mother Carol answered._

"_Oh. Hello Eli I didn't know you were coming over." Carol was such a sweet woman. _

"_Oh no, I just came here to give Jules her phone." She smiled and moved aside._

"_Julia is in her room. You can head on up there." I thanked her and walked up the stairs. When I reached her door I heard music blasting. The song was "Crack a Bottle" by Eminem, Dr. Dre, and 50 Cent. I decided that I would open the door when the chorus said "You just hit the lotto" that was her favorite line so I chose to do that. I jumped inside her room when I heard the line and said it with the song. She didn't notice me because she was to busy fucking my best friend Thomas Williams. At that moment all I saw was red. I turned the music off and that got her attention._

"_Hey what happened to the music?" she asked him. she turned her head towards the side and saw me. Her eyes widened and she tapped Thomas's shoulder. He stopped kissing her neck and noticed me._

"_You…and You!" I screamed at them._

"_Uhhh…hey Eli" she said to me._

"_Don't 'hey Eli' me Julia I just came here to drop off your phone and I see you fucking like rabbits. Julia I loved you and I thought you loved me too. But you're just a heartless slut! And You…" I turned my attention towards Thomas. "I expected more out of you. Some best friend."_

"_Eli I … d-didn't w-w-want you to f-find out like t-this." She stuttered with teary eyes. I was just sick of her. She was a disgusting little whore in my eyes. _

"_That's the thing Julia you didn't want me to find out. Dana was right you are a selfish slut." I sneered with pain in my voice. Dana is my little sister who loved dearly. She and Julia NEVER got along. Julia got up and walked towards me and tried to put her hand on my shoulder. I backed up and shook my head at her. _

"_Julia we're over! O-V-E-R" I said to her._

"_No Eli I love you don't be like this." She pleaded and it was sickening._

"_No Julia are you that conceited that you think I would take you back?" she didn't answer and just looked down. I took out her phone and threw it on the bed._

"_Give me back the ring." I said sticking my hand out. I gave her my favorite ring when I asked her to be my girlfriend._

"_No Eli" she said as tears rolled down her cheeks._

"_Give me back the god damn ring." I demanded. She whimpered and let out a sob as she slid it off her finger and handed it to me._

"_Julia… don't call, text, E-mail, and delete me on Facebook."_

"_But Eli" she cried. I just gave them one last look before running down the stairs to the car._

_*End of flash back* _

At that very moment I wished that she was dead and that I didn't waste 6 months of my life with her. Little did I know that she was going to turn up dead. One night she was hit by a drunk driver. Well Karma's a bitch. Even though I was really pissed I still cared. After I got the news I went down the path of destruction getting mixed up with the wrong people doing the wrong things. Because of my Schizophrenia my behavior became worse. It made me do things, things I'm not proud of. So here I am sitting in a whacky shack. But today was good. I met a girl named Clare. She was beautiful. She also has anxiety disorder. I befriended her when she started to talk to me. I had a feeling that this was going to be a good friendship.


	3. Shades of Gray

Chapter 3:Shades of gray

Clare's point of view:

Turns out me and Eli have a lot of the same interests. We both like reading Edgar Allen Poe and Shakespeare, our favorite subject is English, we love to read and write, and we both ** Hate ** stupidity and ignorance. He's actually a pretty cool guy. I admit that after only knowing him for like an hour, it felt like a life time. I think I've also grown some feelings. But I think when he learns my past it will deminish our new found friendship. One can only hope that it doesn't. something about him just attracts me. I don't know what it is but I like it. Maybe it has something to do with his amazing green eyes, or that to die for smirk of his that seems to play on his face when I say something that seems to amuse him. I really want to know him better. Find out what makes him smile and what makes him absolutely tick. He is a very intriguing person I must admit and has caught my attention. Then I thought of a game we could play for me to learn more about him.

"Hey Eli?" I asked.

"Uh Huh?" he replied.

"Want to play a game?"

"Depends on the game."

"How about 20 questions?" I asked pleading in my head that he will say yes.

"Sure and since I'm going to be your friend I'm going to need to learn a little more about you." He said.

"Okay. Me first. Ummm….Oh! I know. What's tour favorite color?"

"Blue. Yours?" he asked.

"Blue? I can picture you the color black type and mine is crimson"

"It was black….Until I met you." He said. I felt heat rush up my neck to my cheeks. I was blushing.

"My turn again. What's your favorite type of whether?" really Clare there's a cute boy sitting across from you and you ask that? DISGRACE! * MENTAL FROWN*

"I like it when it rains." He replied. then a sinister smirk played on his lips. Oh dear God.

"Are you a virgin?" he asked. Shit how was I supposed to answer that?

"Okay what I tell you you can't tell anyone. Promise to keep this to yourself?" I asked and he nodded.

"I'm not a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was 14 and I'm 17 now. I lost it in 8th grade."

"Interesting" he smirked.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything?" he smirked.

"You don't have to your eyes did." I said as response.

"Oh yeah and what did they say?" he asked mocking me, with his eyes wide, leaning across the table to get closer to me.

"It seemed as if they said that you were surprised I wasn't one." I smirked at him.

"Are you capable of reading minds because I was thinking." He joked.

"NO and I want to get back to the game so…What's your favorite movie?"

"Jennifer's body is my favorite movie Clare."

"Let me guess it's your favorite because Megan Fox is the lead." I said annoyed.

"No. actually I hate her. She sucks at acting but I love the plot." A Teenage Boy who hates Megan Fox? What has the world come to?

"What's your favorite band?"Eli asked me.

"Panic! At the Disco is my favorite band." His eyes widened.

"Me too." He said. Wow! We really have A LOT in common.

"Okay my turn and I'm only asking this as revenge got it?" he nodded.

"Boxers or Briefs?" I said with a triumphant smirk of my own.

"Eager to get in my pants Miss Edwards?"

"Just answer the damn question Eli-Jah." I said putting emphasis on the "Jah" part of his name.

"Fine. Boxers." With his hands up in defense. "What's your favorite animal?" he asked me.

"Ferret" I answered almost immediately.

"Ferret?" he asked confused.

"Yes a ferret. They are just super duper cute."

"They're disease ridden rodents." He said

"Shut up Goldsworthy. Shaken or stirred?"

"Shaken or stirred what?"

"Just in general."

"Oh. Shaken." He answered.

"Are you religious?" why the hell would he want to know that?

"Yes." I answered.

"Then you probably already know that sex before marrige is a sin." He said smirking AGAIN! Oh he's a god damned son of a bitch. Not literally but still.

"Yes and either way I'm gonna go to hell." I said nonchalantly. I really didn't care if I did.

"Are you Jewish?" I asked. He looked really taken back.

"No why?"

"Oh because Goldsworthy totally doesn't scream I'm Jewish." I said sarcastically.

"Shut up" he said. Was he blushing? Just then a bell rang and I jumped. People started standing up. Eli must've sensed my anxiety because he took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's okay Clare it's just the lunch bell. Every things all right." Only it wasn't. walking down the halls all I saw was gray. Looking around I saw a lot of….how should I put this… "Sick" people. Ones in restraints being led by guards to the mess hall. And I still saw gray. Gray gray gray. It's official I'm living in shades of gray with no color to feed my imagination.

**So…What you think? Review and let me know**


	4. Meeting people

Chapter 4: Meeting people

Clare's point of view:

During the walk to the prison cafeteria I noticed Eli was still holding my hand. I looked down and blushed at our interlocked fingers. I guess he noticed so he let go. I was disappointed by the warmth that left with his hand. Looking around I saw many doors. Most of them said things or had numbers. I then saw a door that said 'Dr. Ruben' I'm guessing that's the therapist here. Great so I'm going to have to talk to people, let them call me crazy, and then get hopped up on meds. If I must say so myself…I'm livin the life. (Sarcasm intended). I have a feeling that I'm gonna get even more 'crazy' by just looking at blank ass gray walls. Like come on. How is staring at a wall good for brain development? Because I think it actually makes it deteriorate because of the lack of activity. Me and Eli entered the cafeteria and I saw groups of people talking as they ate.

"Follow me." Eli said. I followed and he led us to a table in the back that sat 4 people. There were 2 boys and 2 girls. One boy was tan, tall, and was jittery while the other was wearing a sock puppet on his left hand and talking to it. One of the girls was tall and had long curly hair. She was beautiful. I wonder why she is here. The first girl was talking to a shorter Indian looking girl. What could her condition be? Eli and I walked up to their table and they stopped talking.

"Hey guys." Eli said. They didn't pay attention to him much because they were too busy studying me.

"Eli who's this?" the girl with curly hair asked.

"This is Clare" he said pulling out two chairs for us.

"Hi Clare, I'm Alli" the Indian girl spoke.

"I'm Fiona." The curly headed girl spoke again.

"I'm Andrew but you can call me Drew." The jittery boy said.

"My name is Adam and this is Toby." The boy said gesturing towards his socked hand.

"Hi. It's nice to meet you all."

"So…What you in for?" 'Toby' asked.

"Toby! You can't just ask that." Adam hissed at his puppet. "Sorry about him he can be very blunt. But while the topic is out there why are you here?" Adam asked. They're going to find out sooner or later so I might as well tell them now.

"No it's okay. I'm here because of my anxiety disorder. I just kind of snapped. I killed my father and step mother. My anxiety made me paranoid and I thought that they were going to kill me someday but I killed them before they had the chance to. That's why I'm here." I explained and they all nodded.

"I have ADHD" Drew said.

"I have clinical Depression" Alli stated.

"And I have OCD" Fiona commented.

"You can probably guess what he has." 'Toby' said.

"So this is what you have to eat?" I said poking at the green gunk on my plate.

"Pretty much. You get used to it." Eli said while taking a spoon full.

"Do you guys like just sit in a room all day or due you get to go outside?"

"You can go outside in the yard but someone has to watch you." Alli said in monotone.

"Oh because I thought that all you did was stare at a blank wall and take medication." I said. They all laughed except for Alli but she put on some facial expression that looked like she was trying to smile.

Suddenly there was a blood curtailing scream. They were seriously screaming bloody murder. I looked around for the source of the sound and saw a blonde girl screaming and clawing at her scalp. Suddenly like 5 guards busted in and restrained her. She was still screaming and kicking so they gave her a shot. She then relaxed into their grip as they led her out.

"What was that about?" I asked.

"Oh Sarah was just having one of her Schizophrenic attacks. No big deal." Drew said while popping a carrot in his mouth.

"Didn't look like 'no big deal'" I sad and Eli smirked that cute little smirk of his.

"It happens a lot around here when people haven't taken their medication yet." Eli said

"This place must be loads of fun" I said sarcastically.

"You could say that again" Drew said with a mouth full.

"Ewww. Drew Chew and swallow before you talk." Fiona said. Drew just rolled his eyes.

"Here comes the OCD" Drew quipped.

"Here comes the ADHD" Fiona said. "Boo!" she screamed in his face.

"Ahhh!" he said as a response to her scare. Since he's so jittery it must not take a lot to scare him. After his yell he looked around embarrassed to see if anybody heard. A few people were looking at him awkwardly so that caused me to burst out in laughter.

"Nice laugh" 'Toby' said.

"Shut up" I said laughing. Maybe being in a Mental Health hospital won't be so bad.

**This chapter sucked and I'm sorry but I think I'm suffering from writers block on this story. Any ideas for the next chapter?**


	5. Author's note :l

**I know you all probably hate me for keeping you waiting this long and I'm sorry. I've been busy with my school play and writing other stories. I've also bennhaving alot of writer's block for my Eclare stories. And I'm sorry about that. But just so you know, If I haven't updated a story in over a month, then it means I have writers block for it or is busy. And I'm sorry I don't have a chapter for this story. But if you have any Ideas that would be great. I need all input. Please message me with any of your ideas for any of my stories. I need ideas STAT plus the faster I get your messages the faster a new chapter will be up. Once again I'm sorry.**

**-Amanda**


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